What To Do When A Girl Doesn’t Text Back

So let me guess:  You met a girl, you talked, you got her number.  You think you hit it off with her… or at least… you hope you did.

So you send a text and (gulp) she doesn’t text back.

You think to yourself, “Not a big deal.  It’s only been ten minutes… she probably just hasn’t checked her phone.”

Then half an hour passes and you’ve been checking your phone every five minutes, pulling your hair out and mentally revisiting your interaction with her, going through everything with a fine-toothed comb, thinking about what you might have done to have screwed it up.

Then the questions start going through your head:  Should I send another text?  Will that make me look needy?  Should I play it cool and just not text her until she responds?  If she texts me back, should I make her wait?

Calm down – this article will tell you everything you need to know when a woman doesn’t text back.

First, you need to calm down.  If you’re all worked up, you’re not going to make a good decision.  Here’s a few things to keep in mind:

  1. You already made your impression during the interaction.  You’re not going to win her over with some amazing, super text message.
  2. By the same token, unless you said something completely needy, offensive or angry, nothing you say over text is going to do much damage.
  3. The only thing you can control is yourself, so put your focus on how to handle yourself well.

There are 5 main reasons a girl won’t text you back:

  1. She wasn’t that into you.
  2. She’s busy with something.
  3. If you were acting especially “needy” in the text message.
  4. She’s away from her phone.
  5. She’s with another guy at the moment.

Regardless of the reason – you have no way of knowing!  Getting upset about, worrying about, being angry about it… none of that is going to help you.

What will help you?  Occupying yourself!

Do something else – take your mind off of whether or not she’s texting you back.  Hang out with friends, focus on a fun hobby, do something else instead of waiting around for the text message.

There is nothing more unnattractive than a man who is needy for a woman’s attention / approval / validation.  Stop needing women to respond to you to make you feel secure and instead focus on making your life richer, more full and more interesting for you.

It will make you far more interesting to women if you have a full life that is completely fulfilling and fun for you.  And it will have the added benefit of making sure you never come off as needy.

Also, it’s a good strategy to never build your plans around waiting for a girl to respond.  Instead, make plans and expect that the girl will come around and join you.  But if she doesn’t you’ll still have fun doing what you were planning on without her.

Don’t build your life and plans around a woman – lead a fun and exciting life and have women join you. The type of men who women are most attracted to lead their life this way, so you should now too.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Amit January 25, 2012 at 8:56 AM

Hello folks,
I am facing a situation right now where I needed some good advise. I met this girl online (for the record, she is a Sagittarius), about 2 months ago. Since then we have talked over the phone and exchanged texts quite frequently. We haven’t actually met yet, although we are in the same city. She did mention a couple times earlier that we should hook up. I brought that up too and she seemed fine with meeting up but wasn’t available the couple times I tried to setup the date. I have been travelling for work quite a bit lately and she was sick for the last 2 weeks so it was a little tough to meet up. Something to remember is that we are of East Indian origin so dating and going out right after meeting someone does not work exactly the same way in our world as it does in the Western world (e.g. its not very common to sleep with the girl on the 3rd date).

Overall, we have shared quite a bunch about each other, our families, our view on important things in life. These conversations have been over the phone mostly as I don’t prefer doing these discussions over text. Her and I have seen a few of each others pictures so we know what we both look like. Last couple of weeks she was quite sick so we didnt talk over the phone but we did exchange a whole bunch of text messages (Atleast connected once a day). At the minimum, we generally start our day by greeting each other and the night by wishing a good night. Although I must say I initiate that 7 out of 10 times.

What is confusing me is that 3 days ago is the last time we talked (it was her who called me) and our conversation went really smooth and lasted about 20 minutes. The last thing that we talked was that I mentioned to her jokingly that I would like to say that I miss you but we haven’t really met so can’t really say that. She laughed at that genuinely and said “yes we gotta hook up soon”, then said I am at a shoe store (which mentioned earlier on in our conversation), but she will call me back. She hasn’t called me back since. Also, I stepped back a little to see her take. She hasn’t messaged me since then either. Messaged her once day before yesterday to ask how its going and she replied back that there are a few bitchy customers at the store where she works, but that’s it. I tried calling her once after that, no response or acknowledgement of missing the call.

I am curious what my next step should be. I gave it a lot of thought and decided that I will wait for a full week since we last talked, and to close this off, I was planning to message her if everything’s ok since I hadn’t heard from her for a week. And if she isn’t interested, I was thinking to ask her if it was something I said or is it a personality difference, etc. Would that be a good idea? How should I handle this situation? I really liked this girl but I am not sure how she feels, or if she is just being shy temporarily (which some Sagittarians are based on my research).

Sorry for the long background but I wanted to put some context for those of you who wanted to assess before giving advise.

Thank you in advance for the time you took to read and comment.

Cheers,
Amit.

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