You’re friends with a girl and you want to make her your girlfriend. Be careful because there are a few mistakes that most men make that make the difference between you becoming her lover and you landing in the “friend zone” or labeled as “just a friend”.
In this article, you will learn the mistakes you must avoid if you want to turn your female friend into your girlfriend as well as how to do it right.
Mistake #1: You are needy.
What does it mean to be needy?
Neediness basically just means that you have a strong desire for someone to treat you in a particular way. And if they don’t you will be upset.
One thing that guys tend to do when they want to date their female friend is they start resenting her for not seeing them as a potential lover. Resenting her for not seeing you as more than a friend will kill your chances of ever being more than a friend because it is the ultimate needy behavior.
You are basically communicating that you have no other options and that she holds the keys to your happiness. In return, she will become extremely uncomfortable for you putting this pressure on her and she will start wanting to avoid you all together.
Solution: Fill your life with things you enjoy, great friends and most importantly other potential girls you could date. It is very important that you have options, which leads to…
Mistake #2: You do not display high “market value”.
“Market value” is the sense that women get of how desirable a man is to other women. It sounds funny to guys, but women are more attracted to a man when they know other women are attracted to him. In other words, if a woman thinks that you have no women interested in you, she will find you much less attractive than if she thought that you had tons of women interested in you.
In fact, women are highly competitive and want to be the woman that wins the guy that every woman wants.
A big problem guys have when they get hung up on one girl is that they focus only on her and avoid meeting other women. Movies and media will show images that the man who falls in love and fixates only on the woman of their dreams eventually gets the girl.
In real life, a woman is going to go with her most attractive option – and her knowing that you have many options will make you look more attractive in her eyes.
Solution: Socialize with other girls and attract other women. You don’t necessarily have to date them, but you definitely want it to be self-evident that you have girls who would date you.
Mistake #3: You put yourself down in front of her.
There are many guys who make friends with a girl and start confiding in her. Having a close female friend that you can talk to can be a great thing. But if you want to attract her, you don’t want to be constantly advertising your insecurities and disappointments.
Some guys even fall in love with the female friend who listens to them. These guys already feel alone and insecure and they crave that feeling of acceptance from the girl. However, attracting a girl and being accepted by a girl are two different things.
In order for your female friend to see you as a potential lover or boyfriend, she needs to see your attractive side.
Solution: Don’t put yourself down in front of her. Don’t talk about your insecurities, fears and frustrations. Adopt a positive, can-do, ambitious mindset – don’t be obnoxious or arrogant about this, just simply focus on winning and being happy instead of being serious or a “downer”.
Mistake #4: Doesn’t make a move.
Assuming that you are not making the first three mistakes, there is still one major mistake that can destroy your chances. This mistake is not making the move when the window of opportunity is there.
It is true that making a move at the wrong time is a major mistake, but not making any move when the opportunity is there is equally bad. If you want the girl, you will need to make the move.
Solution: One thing that keeps guys from making the move is that he doesn’t believe he’s attractive. There’s a funny truth here, but as a man a lot of being attractive comes down to one thing, “Do you believe that you’re attractive?”
If you don’t, very few people will find you attractive. If you do, there will still be plenty of people who don’t find you attractive, but there will be plenty more who do.
So the first step is that you need to quietly believe that she’s very attracted to you and would enjoy being with you as more than a friend.
The other important part of the solution is knowing when the time is right.
If you want to turn your friend into your girlfriend, then you will want to fill your life with more things to do (socially and with hobbies) and give her some space to miss you. Work on being the best “you” that you can be. When she sees that you have options, that you don’t need her and that you value yourself and your attractiveness, then that is the time to ask her out on a date.
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